Colorism

I had the luxury of spending this Christmas with my family in Detroit. Amid the laughter, eating, and a mean game of connect four, a couple of my family members had some interesting opinions about locs. First, I'd like to say that I'm always on the defensive side when it comes to my hair. I've been natural for three years now, and my family hasn't really been that supportive of my decision. Or maybe it's that they really don't understand. But anywho, I'm used to defending my hair against rude and down-right ignorant comments, or family members asking me when I'm going to press it out to see "how long it is". Yesterday was a spin on that. I guess most of my family are used to my hair, but when I made the suggestion that my younger cousin should start locking, I was surprised to hear the comments.

My cousin, who is 17, has a rich ebony complexion. He has some of the most beautiful black skin that I've ever seen. Sadly, he's been surrounded by people who have decided that his skin is ugly. I can't count all of the names I've heard over the years: "blacky" Chan, burnt, crispy, ugly. When I made the suggestion that he start his locking process (which he was excited about and was milking me for suggestions) my aunt made the statement that he has "enough problems with his appearance as it is". What does that mean? Because he's darkskinned there is a problem with his appearance? And because locs are so dreadful and disgusting looking, that would make his "problem" worse? Excuse my jaded reaction to this statement, but I really think that we as a people are still sick. We're still convinced that if you're "white, you're alright, if you're brown, stick around, if you're black, get back". What does it take for us to shake these awefully engrained bits of self-hatred?